marriage

i read one of my loved one’s blog.. as i read her blog, my heart felt the pain and ache.. somehow i want to re-shuffle my life, start a total whole new life again.. honestly i’m sick and tired of my routine life now. somehow i feel like returning to my sales job.. and soemhow i feel like doing other jobs.. at the end of the day, i do not know what i really want.. all i know is that i really want a job that is not routine, that is why i dun mind a sales job where i can meet people. but i know if i were to go back to my sales job, i will be caught in a trap where i will never be able to get out.. it is wiser to move on to another area of job..

back to my loved one’s blog.. somehow i didnt expect life was hard on her, i didnt expect that she’s not enjoying her life.. somehow i felt so bad that she has to face it alone.. probably i should take the time off and talk to her, maybe we can go for a spa or some shopping spree.. my heart ache so much..

She wrote that despite many years of marriage she felt like there is isn’t any marriage because of their different work schedule. One have to work night shift, the other one have to work normal routine shift. She felt that it is so hard to maintain this relationship. I pray Lord, i hand this relationship to you, that you renewed their love and they will love each other much more.

thank you Lord for all the wonderful things.

my mum

She is the most beautiful woman i ever met in my life. My mum. She passed away beautifully today at at 1.4opm. When i see her for the last time, her face was so cold. When i tried giving my body heat to her, it doesnt work. i shake her, i do all i can to wake her up. But she ignore me. She left me when i was 10, and only the recent years that we got closed again and yt she left me again. I keep saying, mummy dun leave me pls. I kept telling God to take my life instead. My half brother is still so young. I think the person who suffers most is my half brother and my stepdad. Both of them have to see my mum’s shawdows around the house. Every corner of the house brings back memory of my mum. I miss my mum alot. I will do anything for her to come back alive. I will.

yoz yozxx

finally back from Kl and i totally miss KL. party and parting the whole nite. however, we get our work done, diligently and effortly. indeed we did not disgrace our sch’s name. overall, our lawyers were very impressed abt our work.. 🙂 our motto in life became work hard and play harder! this 3 months were of a vauable lesson in life as well as one of the most memrable thing in my life 🙂 ok i got to go to class nw

so sorry

so sorry hasnt been updating my blog because i do not hav a com anymore as i have been transferred to litigation where i am very busy handling a case on plastic surgery in which the lady has scars and bruises after doing a laser liposuction. as she thinks that laser is not liposuction. and i did alot of research as to how to win this case and i have been doing it for the past 2 weeks. and this client always didnt turn up for appointment which she scheduled with me. make sure she turn up next week or my hard work and effort will go to a waste. i’m so stress.

hello

my family ask me what do i miss most in Singapore. it’s kind of embarrassing to say that i miss my family the most. so i told them everything. the fact is i miss my family the most.. i miss them so much.. i really wanna spend all my time with them, bt i miss Spinners alot too..

Let me see love again. it felt as though i lost all faith in love. lt felt as though i could nv see love again..

photos

choices

i remembered after my O levels, i wanna do nursing. Hwever, my dad doesnt wan me to do nursing. he said i will regret. he asked me to put law. den i put nursing after law. during the whole process, i was praying that i will get nursing instead. bt too bad, i got into law. as i looked at my paper, i was kind of devasted. nevertheless, i still opt for it cause i know my parents want me to take law for my own good. i really wan to do something that is meaningful even if i have to clean shit after shit, clear dead bodies, i dun mind. i really wan to be a nurse even up till now.. i’m really in a dilemma.. shld i pursue my dreams or go ahead and do my law degree? i wanna be a nurse so badly that i can give up any bad habits for it. friends will know wad i mean.. let God decide for me..

back

anyway i came back from Singapore.. my brother A level is next monday. my brother doesnt know wad he wanna major in. My mum wan him to become an accountant. however, i hope not. since young, my brother loves reading on our human brains and doing research on it. ever since young to be a brain surgeon was his ambition. i dunno why he gave that up. i told him if he choose to do medical he will not regret. i told him to save lives is much more greater and meaningful than anything else. hope he choose the correct path. i’m so so so tired.

why

i talked to my boss over the Bangsar thing. i really wanna tell him about melisa. bt i didnt cause steph said he would rather beleived her than us which is true. mr koy said he think of us as two pampered girls from singapore and that we are not allow to pick and choose wad we want. i agreed with wad he said bt he truly misunderdstand us. the reason why i dun wnna go bangsar is not because i dun wanna find files bt it’s because i dun wanna het frame again because in bangsar there is only me her and another lawyer. there will be no evidence and she can accuse me of anything. i just wanna avoid her that’s all. is it that hard? bt i cant tell him that. because if i did he will feel i am just finding faults with melisa. tell me hiw. nw he thinks so badly of us.

in the past, when my dad have to go to Hong Kong to work for 3 years, i was strong enough not to cry no matter how hard it was. i saw my dad and my brother cried.. den my dad said he knows i’m strong.. after he left, i went to my room and cried.. no matter how i cant bear my dad to go, no matter hw hard it was to suppress my tears i did not cry in fron of my dad. when i visit my mum when she has cancer, i was also strong enough never to cry in front of her.. neither did i cry when i bid my family goodbye at the airport to come to KL to work. yet i cried in front of Mr Koay…. and yet he said he dun fall for this trick.. no matter how hurting my dad words are, i will nv shed a tears in front of him and yt i did in front of mr koay. he even throw the tissue box at me and said he dun fall for this trick.. i never felt so ………… i dunno how to say..

ridiculous

off office hour and my boss called me. just to tell me, me and steph have to go to bangsar to help that bitch. and he kept on saying he wants our fullest cooperation. wth!! i dunno wad she told mr koay and she sux. me and steph dun wanna go bangsar because wad we do is just finding files. if that is wad we are suppose to do then in the first place why did we foresake our family and loved ones and come all the way to this foreign land for? we would have done our SIP in Singapore. every promises he gave, wad happen to them? i didnt expect my boss to be stupid and manipulated. it’s simply too ridiculous. to think i think so highly of him. i’m gonna find him later and talk to him. knock some sense into him.